Sunday, January 6, 2013

Who Cares If I Might Look Silly?

Yesterday, being in a mood of silliness, I decided that if my Facebook page "My Quirky Son" gets 100 Likes that I would post a video of me singing Bon Jovi! I chose Livin' On A Prayer. It was so much fun!

It is so important sometimes to just let loose and be silly. At first, I was a little nervous and scared that I would get nothing but negativity. My daughter was super excited about helping me! KK was a little nervous too and asked me why I would want to do something like this? I told her because it's okay to be silly and it's okay to be different! She says, "Like how SuperE is sometimes weird about things?" I said, "Yep, that's exactly right!"

I think about my days of growing up and how we had a program called "Everybody Counts". I haven't really seen that in our schools now. Although, I was told it existed but some years it didn't because there just wasn't enough volunteers. More importantly, I remember my Mom explaining special needs to me. If she saw me staring, she would walk me over to the "different" person and she would just ask them about their disability. Most people were always willing to share their story with us. The woman had a knack for charming people. Mom had a best friend who's son was handicapped and he lived in a special home. We would go and visit him...my favorite memory is when one of the residents sang to us..."White Lightning"!

My point being is that we as parents of special kids need to encourage others to speak up and speak out about their child's differences. We need to educate our "normal" children on how to treat others that might be different. My biggest dream would be to see people actually being accepting of someone who is different. Granted, there are more and more people who are sympathetic to kids with special needs that are apparent. And there even some, who are sympathetic when you are at the grocery store and your child is literally crawling out of the cart where it raises up (and does it repeatedly through the store) so you can push it into another cart when putting said cart away. What is hard, is when your child does not have an apparent problem and most will think that it is just a lack of discipline. Or when your child gets so overwhelmed from the lights, the noise, or simply just somebody accidentally bumping into your child that causes a whole slew of responses from spinning, to humming, to running and hiding, or to yell really loud something quite inappropriate.

So, next time you see me out or if you see someone else out. Just ask us what is going on with our kid, don't judge and just listen. Please, please do not give me a look after I tell you about his problems and say, "Oh! I am so sorry!" I don't want pity. I only want some understanding.

To people who know me in real life, please don't tell me things like "Oh! He's just a boy. He will come around." or "Your child doesn't have a problem." or "Are you sure that he has that problem?"! This is my child and these things are happening. Just understand why I might not always want to go places with you with my child. Understand, that when I say something is going to bother him and not believe me. I know my child best and I know what I see every day. When I try to explain a certain behavior, don't say things like, "Well, he didn't have that problem a few months ago." These things honestly just really irritate me because I don't always know what is going to bother him. Some days, weeks, or months at a time these behaviors continue without any warning. I don't always understand what makes him do something or what makes him blurt out something inappropriate. I can't always make him stop doing something annoying like spinning right smack in the middle of a crowded place or humming loudly or saying the same thing over and over again. It just happens. But I can tell you that he is smart, kind, funny, and so sweet.

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