Friday, July 5, 2013

Victories...Big or Small

I always seem to take the small victories for granted when it comes to both my children. Victories big or small are so very important when your child has a developmental delay, learning disability, etc. Every single one counts!

KK is going into 5th grade mostly A student, super smart...she has come a long way. I didn't send her to preschool because silly me didn't think it was necessary. Boy, was I wrong! I found out when she started Kindergarten that 95% of the kids in her class went to preschool. It seemed as if they were all leaps and bounds ahead of my child. Then 3rd quarter of Kindergarten came and she was still not reading, she still didn't recognize letters or sounds. She was waaaayyyy behind! I remember thinking to myself that I was such a failure as a Mom because I didn't know what was going on with my child and I didn't send her to preschool.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks one day: My daughter has learning problems/struggles and I think she has ADD. She just wasn't learning anything, not retaining any information. I figured it out because I started asking questions to her teachers, to my Mom (My Mom babysat a lot of kids with lots of problems. By far the best expert I could have asked. No doctor degree but she had the highest degree or 6th sense when it came to kids and knowing they have problems.), my sister in law "D" who has a teaching degree but also knows a lot about kid stuff, and thankfully, our school has a wonderful psychologist that also helped. Last but not least, a pediatrician that is willing to listen and not think you are crazy.

I made the appointment with her pediatrician. We didn't get answers that first visit and instead we got a whole bunch more paperwork to fill out. I had to have the teacher do this as well as myself and her Dad, the babysitter, and even my Mom. At first, my husband didn't think there was any problem but eventually he understood. Once all the information was gathered it was time for the next appointment with the pediatrician. He decided that she has ADD. With KK, there were no major behavior problems besides the usual kid stuff. She just couldn't quiet her mind long enough to concentrate. I finally decided that she should be put on medicine with reluctance from my husband. He is not a big fan of medicating. But as I said before, he eventually came around and decided that it was good thing for our daughter. The doctor started her on Focalin XR 10 mg and we increased the dose gradually. I only gave the medicine to her during the school year and only during the week. IT WORKED! She started to read not to the level she should have been.

There was much help in getting her to that point. Great teacher that understood what she needed. And we also enrolled her in a program with KinderCare. They had an enrichment program that she went to 2 or 3 times per week for about 2 hours. My sitter was able and willing to pick her up from Kindergarten and take her there for us and pick her up.

KK got promoted to 1st grade! She almost didn't get to move on to the next grade level. The only reason they decided she should move to the next grade was because they had teachers that had just gotten some training done to be intervention specialists in the regular classroom along with Title 1 Reading (a state funded program). Later in the fall, she also started a tutoring program called "Whiz Kids" through our church. Her tutor helped her not only with her reading skills but she also helped her with dealing through her Grandma's Cancer and death in 2011. Kathy is one of those people that are truly "Heaven Sent".

Finally, second grade came and went...that year she continued Title 1 and graduated out of that program to become an ADVANCED READER! She also continued the Whiz Kids program as well. My husband and I also continued to work with her at home. Then 3rd and 4th grade have happened...she is still exceeding our expectations with mostly A's and reading above the level they say most kids are at during this age and grade level.

Last year; however, was a big challenge! She had so much homework and struggled a bit. She got a few bad grades 2nd and 3rd quarter. KK did improve by leaps and bounds by the 4th quarter. What happened during 2nd and 3rd quarters? The Focalin stopped working for her. We ended up trying Adderall which has been the biggest mistake of this journey to date. Adderall changed her completely and even became combatant with me. You see, KK is a gentle-natured child. Never once has she ever tried hitting me, kicking me, etc. She was constantly screaming at me, hitting me, kicking me, and one time even bit me! I took her off that immediately. We then tried Concerta and thank goodness it finally worked.

Back in May, on the last week of school, KK was not taking her medication. She came to me and asked if she could try school without the medicine. She also wants to attempt 5th grade without the medication. I am going to let her try it. I told her that she is going to have to be ready to fight. That she was going to have to understand that Mom and Dad would have to really get on her this next year. She understands and is ready to rumble with 5th grade!

My point being with this tale is this: Don't give up! Please do not give up on your child..now matter how big or small their struggle is...keep fighting for them. You are their best advocate. KK's problems aren't as big as some but her struggle has been real and at times, has been painful to me. I hate seeing my kids struggle. What parent doesn't?

You may only see small victories and you will see some big victories along the way. Whether or not that victory is big or small, it was still an accomplishment. Celebrate each and every one...kids grow up fast these days.

As a result of these struggles, they have prepared me for the bigger undertaking in our life. SuperE. That boy still continues to frustrate me, amaze me, wrenching my heart out of my chest every day...more on his victories the next blog post.
My Beautiful KK

For those in the USA...hope you are having a Happy 4th of July weekend!

KK, Peanut, and Super E

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